What do you do when your mother tells you shes going to kill herself when no ones watching....and she says its because of you...?....

I broke down today at work....I just couldnt take the ache anymore.

In the words of Courtney Love: "someday you will ache like I ache"

The pressure has become to much....far too much...and I know its not over yet.



What do you do when no one believes you.....and your big brother saw it happen but wont admit it?.....

How do you show your face, knowing everyone thinks you lied...?...

What do you say after 11 yrs when you finaly get the chance to confront the bastard?....

How do you tell your parents they fucked you up?...or do you not tell them, cause your afraid one of them will kill themselves?...

How do you decide to "fix" yourself, after years of represhion?......

How do you let people know the mental state your in, without looking or acting completely insane?...

How do you trust someone with your feelings, in an environment that is cold and heartless?....

I feel like I dont know myself anymore....did anyone see where I left my soul? I cant find it...